Day After Surgery

Devin made it through his surgery yesterday.  It was successful in what needed to be done, but in his fashion; Devin kept it interesting.  His heart started going into irregular arrhythmias during surgery, which threw his team for a loop.  Arrhythmias are often expected when operating on the heart, but since they were not operating on the heart, it came as a little surprise.  Thankfully, they were able to get them to stop, and he hasn’t had any since he’s been back to his room, which is good news.  It took them a while to get him settled in after getting back to his room, and he began waking up fairly quick.  Because of where the incision is on his side, he’s in a lot of pain.  They said that’s because of the nerves and its location, it can be worse than his chest incision pain.  As he started to wake up he was just very angry and in obvious pain.  They could not give him more sedatives since they were planning to extubate, and too much sedation could stop his breathing when they pull the tube.  He was extubated a few hours after surgery, and was put back on c-pap.  We could not console him well at this point since he did not have enough pain or sedation meds in his system.  So, for almost 3 hours we just stayed close to him as his team tried to find things to calm him down.  He was so angry and turning purple, causing his heart rate to soar extremely high.  It was very difficult to watch him go through that.  He’s the toughest person I know and I just have to remind myself on repeat that he won’t remember this.  He won’t remember this pain.  He won’t remember the fear.  But we do, and we hurt for him.

We don’t know why the Lord chose us to go through this.  We feel so weak and broken by this journey.  I know the Lord is using it to conform us to His image if we submit to it.  Last night was just a reminder again of how we have NO control over what happens in this life.  We may feel like it some days when we can plan our schedules, and make choices about what we want or don’t want, but at the end of the day nothing happens that is outside the hand of God.  Nothing good, nothing bad, can touch us without His allowing it to happen.  We can hold on tightly to things in life, only to have them ripped out of our hands, or we can keep our hands open and surrender that the God who created all things will masterfully use them for his good, and his glory.  And that just blows my finite little mind.

Watching my baby in pain and suffering is hard.  Knowing there is nothing I can do to stop that, or alleviate it, breaks my heart.

So when I think that God, who sent his perfect son to suffer and die on a cross, so that I would learn to surrender control, and give-up all my selfish tendencies; I am just humbled.  I often prayed that Christ would constantly be conforming us to his likeness.  I don’t know why I ever thought that would be easy or glamorous. 

So, here we are, waiting for lungs and wounds to heal.  We just ask for your continued prayer for Devin’s pain to be controlled, for his lungs to inflate and no longer need support, and for strength & patience for our family as we wait.  This has been a long road and we are all just ready to be home again.